Abrar Alrddadi

Must-Watch Movies

2011-06-22T00:48:00.000-07:00

Before I get started , I need you to trust me when I say that this post is not as lame as it might seem , OK? Good! I've recently turned into a kind of a movies maniac, and not that I'm proud of it , but *Whispers* .... I could watch ten movies in a row O.o Yup! Heheheee. Anyways , I still manage to be very selective to what I watch , and you'll judge my taste once you watch these movies that I highly recommend (Y)

Dead Poet's society (1989)

The first time I heared the phrase Carpe Diem was from Mr.Keating in this movie. It's what the whole movie is about.
Seizing the day and living an extraordinary life! P.S. Make sure to grab some tissues!

Good Will Hunting (1979)
It's the story of one of those beautiful minds 'Will' who happens to be a janitor at MIT
One of the professors there discovered him when he solved an equation that the MIT students couldn't solve.

Dangerous Minds (1995)
It's very close to Freedom Writers. Ms.J here is kind of cooler though.

Legally Blonde (2001/2003)
Teaching people how to not judge you by the way you look or underestimate you.
It's also about not giving up and challenging the whole World for what you believe in.

Freedom Writers (2007)

This is my best movie ever. It's based on a true story of the English teacher Ms.G who was assigned to teach a troubled class in a school that supports integration system. She was able to make the hugest difference in their lives eventually.
Absolutely stunning!

Brothers (2009)

This is also an amazing one. It's mainly about the effect of war on family life.

Waiting for Superman (2010)

A documentary about education in America , shedding more light on the teachers' roles. I really loved it.

The King's speech (2010)

Stunning doesn't begin to describe this film. It's brilliant! I wish they could do more like it? Funny and sad and inspiring. Colin Firth did a splendid job as usually (Y)

My Name is Khan (2010)

This is the BEST movie you could watch about the effect of 11/9
It's very sad and very very real.

Morning Glory (2010)

This one might be more of a chick flick , but I really loved it.

Turning a blind eye to all the scenes that were included , it was rather inspiring for me.

Conviction (2010)
It's an extraordinary movie about not giving up and fighting for the ones you love.
It's a story about Kenny who was falsely accused of a murder and he spends 16 years in prison while his sister Betty studies law so she could be a lawyer and get him out.

.. And voila xD

Suicide?!

2011-01-21T09:05:00.000-08:00

Alsalam Alikom , every one. So as I've been trying to snap out of the manic phase , I get this really really shocking news that sucked me all back in. The other day , a relative of mine attempted suicide !!!!!!!!! An adult , a Muslim , a wife and a mother of five swallowed some pills 'cause she was sick of life , and she wanted her way out .. Aaah !! However , alhamdu li Allah she survived , but well .. I think that her life will get no better especially now as she's made such a huge mistake !!!

I still can't believe it! As if I'm dreaming!!!!! I thought that stuff like this only happen on TV and acting or at least by people whom life and death make no difference for .. those who don't believe in Allah and the day of judgment .. who couldn't care less if Allah is pleased with them or not .. those who don't know that they'll rot in hell over killing themselves .. And believe me , despite all of this , they would think it through a million times before they do it. We are Muslims , and Muslims do not kill themselves! They're patient and Allah-fearing .. they follow the footsteps of prophet Muhammad , May the blessings and peace of Allah be upon him , we follow Abu Bakr , Aisha , and Khadijah. Not freakin' So3ad 7osni or Marilyn Monroe !!

It broke my heart when her 7 years old son told her (You know that people who do that go to hell , don't you ??) Nothing could be more crushing for him !! What happened to us?! When did every thing get so messed up?? What possibly could've happened that make you throw it all away?? Your family , your children .. and your life in the Hereafter???!! I know that my relative had a lousy husband and a troubled life , but come on .. Who didn't ?? Is it worth it after all ??! Turn to Allah repenting , hon .. seek his forgiveness and ask him for patience and strength ! Focus your attention on your kids and raise them on high values !! They need you more than anything !!!

Reminiscing

2011-01-09T07:08:00.000-08:00

Alsalam Alikom dear readers. For those of you who haven't learned yet .. Tuesday was my last day at the school =__= This means that I'm no longer a teacher at the 15th secondary school or .. to be more accurate a trainee over there. It should also tell you that on the grounds of this , I'm not quite in the perfect mood whatsoever. So needless to tire you with my burdens this time. I finally uploaded the pictures. Please enjoy them ^.^ Updated

My class 1/3

1/1

Learning resources center

This picture makes me cry =__=

Practising my lesson :)

My colleague Asma :***

T______T

:D :D

Mrs.Muna's present to us :**

Now the most amazing part ..

~ Glossaries ~

Anan's glossary. One of the best .. a student who is every thing a teacher needs , the whole package :***

My student Mariah is like a fairy tale .. every thing nice and sweet and imaginative coming together !

Maria's first page of her notebook ( Positive thinking !) (Y)

Sanabel's

Who is nothing less than the best .. no no maybe the best of the best ?!

Raghad's Jack emo xD

Fatty's

Oooops .. it's chance !!!!

Sheemo's ..

A very active and cooperative member. A strong believer ... :D

Yasmeen's

Very sweet and outgoing and fun to be with ;)

Maisan's

Bayan's

Shy , quiet , and smart :)

Soosana's ;)

Positive Thinking ..

I salute you , Tasneem !

I think that's very enough for one day. Now , excuse me while I go curl up and weep T______T

I'm in Love !

2011-01-03T07:09:00.000-08:00

Yeah, I most certainly am :$ Deeply , obviously , and officially in love! And how can't I when I've got the super awesome students?! Those who made sense of my life .. the most amazing thing that happened to me in ages .. I'll be stone cold! Being a teacher was one of the hardest toughest most difficult yet sweetest experience I've gone through .. like EVER. My question is however , what's that about teaching that makes you struggle that much to get the knowledge conveyed , and that pushes you through the nights that you stay up , and that condoles you during the disasters that you come across O.O and that makes you put up with everything else?!

For me , it's only that sparkle that shines in my students' little eyes once they understand something , seeing them raising their hands in excitement , that stupid feeling that I just LOVE when I know that I'm someone's mentor or role model! Al7amdu li Allah , getting these rewards was beyond enough to make my days , and to make me work even harder :) But what I got from my students recently is something different , something sweet and touching and special and awesome *tearing* .. Let me fill you in with it , Some of my students have started away their OWN blogs .. I know , right? Others have made me the most amazing glossaries ever. My students know idioms and some of the most important words in English. When I saw thier comments on some of my posts , I was literally wordless !

Lemme start with my lovelies , Fatima took the lead and started her blog .. Fatty is all the sweetness in the world gathered ;) Sawsan , a very smart and funny yet so fragile gal did so as well. R3'dosh is a cool kid who doesn't give up and who thinks she deserves nothing less than the best .. she needs a little push to be something very HUGE. Omaima is very naughty talkative yet keen .. her website is also out.(Please support my students) Maisan is someone I'm so grateful for having in my class. She kept reading and commenting on some of my posts with astonishing English ;) Iman is a thinker and a very wise little woman .. It would be amazing if she has a blog of her own , wouldn't it? Ala'a or Lolo ;) is someone with a great deal of passion. There are MANY MANY great students in my classes whom I really really hope that they take such brave steps .. for those who started , keep it going , sweethearts ;) For those who want so , it's not gonna take more than three minutes .. and you'll have your own page xD

P.S. Please support my students , please please please ?!

P.P.S. I'll upload a few pictures of their glossaries and presents. Will sure provide you with some. Vaya con dios ;)

Yes , We Can Make It !

2010-12-26T07:17:00.000-08:00

Can't we? no no wait? I don't really know for sure .. Maybe the title needs a little modification?! It's a bit of wired , don't you think? .... neh , it's Abrar who is talking again , so the thing is pretty much normal , huh? Good morning/evening everyone , hope all is well at your ends?! It's so depressing how the whole process of writing is taking an outrageous sort of way for me. I don't write till I have enough of the life out there. I can't take it anymore , and I desperately need to vent it all out , so I'll just cut to the chase ..

Today , at school , something happened , and it didn't only move me , but wallahi it brought me to loads of tears. The special education girls at the school ( Our school is one of those who have integration systems ) held a little celebration on the occasion of the success of King Abdu Allah's surgery and his wellbeing. The celebration they organized was very nice and touching. It was amazing how passionate and outgoing and eager learners these kids are with all the things which they lack and so desperately in need for! I felt so ashamed .. we've got it all , and yet we rarely thought of doing such things .. and do you think we were listening to them? No , we freakin' were not! Every one was busy with his own self !! It's very painful ....

It got on all of the nerves and provoked the hell out of me! I mean , on top of the whole stupidity that I put up with every single day , despite all the attempts that I and a lot of people make to fix the world .. nothing is working. Good are good and bad are bad .. there is rarely bad going good ! It's like this ..

And I went nutsooo

Our problem is that we are taking everything FOR GRANTED. We are thankless enough to think that we own every thing as if it could never be taken away in a snap. We are cocky enough to think that we are the smartest , the funniest and the most modern of all. O.k. folks .. you need to realize something YOU ARE NOT so !

For me , my problem is that I suffer from a severe clear concience that I need to be urgently cured from. I wish I was this person who doesn't care about a thing. I wish I could live my life so quietly and peacefully! I really really wish I can stand the feeling that I could come and go without people noticing me .. keep to myself , do my own things and leave. No troubles , no 7argat A39ab and nothing , but I CAN'T. I can't see something wrong happening in front of me and keep quiet , I can't remain silent when stupid things are around .. and to be honest with you , I'm horribly afraid that I might lose my life or be thrown in a mental institution one day over this!

Wallahi I just need to rest and give my poor brain a break. I swear to God it hurts .. ouuuuwwwwuch ! I just wanna relax , lay down , have a massage , a hot bath , a cup of coffee or God have some sleep ..

What I'm Sorry For ..

2010-12-15T15:54:00.000-08:00

I had a breakdown yesterday .. a pretty severe one. Some one was hurt! I was trying to pull myself together , but I couldn't. I had to explode and take it out on some poor creature. You know when people say that delicate things break easily?! and that sensitive people are the ones who always make whoppers ?? I make this folk wisdom sure as hell to the whole universe on a regular basis. Anyways , needless to say how stressful and exhausting my week was , and I am tired .. no no .. tired doesn't even begin to describe my situation. Consumed .. Wrung out , maybe?

I left school at 11:00 A.M , and I headed to the university to fill in my other role. I cried all the way in the car .. and even in my class , I couldn't hold myself back , so I took permission to leave. I had one of those uncontrollable urges of shouting all aloud till the whole world hears it. I needed someone to hug me soo hard and suck out all the anger and frustration I felt. I thought of mum , but really calling her at that time is not really wise !

I took off to my mentor's office .. Dr.Hayat , and al7amdu li Allah she was there. There was also Dr.Amna .. Dr.Hayat's friend and an old friend of my mother's. I had a great pep talk and a really stimulating conversation of the two. Dr.Hayat is perfect .. I LOVE her .. for everything she has .. but mostly because I'm so much like her. Dr.Hayat is Utopian , passionate , a very devoted lady , and a real hard worker. I make a perfect match , and I knew no one would help me get through this like she would.

I spent the whole day pondering , and as weird as it might sound .. I came up with the same conclusion. I apologize for myself .. Sorry for knowing that life is a mess .. and knowing it's not a Utopia .... but rather a jungle and still believing I can make it a better place. I'm terribly sorry for believing that people are treating me well and smiling to my face because I somehow happen to deserve it !? Sorry for forgetting that no matter how much good you've done .. you are counted for your smallest mistake. I'm achingly regretful to the hopes I got up and for my heart that's been mushed like a potato !!!!

... life !

BUT still .. being me .. playing my role perfectly , fulfilling my duty , and trying to honor my ethical obligations are what I will NEVER be sorry for ....

I'm Stupid , and It's Your Fault ~ Part (1)

2010-12-10T06:45:00.000-08:00

My student Najla left this week. On sunday , she told me that it was her last day at school. She wants to go back to Egypt to attend Al-Azhar university , and they wouldn't accept her there if she graduates from a secondary school here. Can you tell why?? It's such a shame because Najla was one of the BEST students I had. Masha'Allah she is very polite and smart and God soo passionate ! Gonna miss her. Anyways , my reaction to the big shocker was that when I got home that day , I cried my face off .. and p.s.call me whatever you want!

Najla's leaving has left me pondering over two of the unavoidable-yet-been-purposely-avoided facts of my life. Firstly , the fact that I am an emotional idiot freak who can't help but get involved in everything around me. But again , never mind it. I was just me being me! The second fact , and the one that really matters , is the painful reality of our education in Saudi Arabia. It's nothing like I needed Najla to remind me that our system is fashel or something! It's pretty much a general consensus that no one BUT -all due respect-FOOLS would deny.

Still , and before I throw my bitter rant , there is something that I need to pinpoint. I know that there are people out there who are givin' it their best trying to fix the problems , and it's not working very well. The thing is .. it's rotten from the inside. It needs super extra efforts of everyone of us. For now , if I shed some light on our education in Saudi Arabia , I'll come up with the result that everything is quite messed up. No decent curriculums , no qualified teachers , students are umm ... I dunno what to even call them , no smart well-studied plans .... and the list goes on.

Let's take curriculums first .. If I talked about the syllabus I teach , it's so lame and boring to death. It has given me a migraine with Ahmad Al-Ali and his programme .. I mean seriously , what good would Ahmad Al-ali do us ? We need solid English , people !However , and despite all the attempts made to develop the curriculums , it's not really working. Wondering why? 'cause we don't have enough good teachers to teach them , and that's a whole other subject that I don't want to go through !!

But in general , the main reason that could make a bad teacher is a bad student i.e. most of the bad teachers were lousy students to begin with .. like some of those I have now. God it's truely agitating and depressing what Saudi students do. I swear to God .. I'm not toxicated or anything , but I never see such a thing from one of my Egyption , Syrian , Yemeni , Afghanistani , and Pakistani students whatsoever. Wallahi they are ALL Saudis who always smother me Why? why Saudis ? why??

They don't give a thing about education. There is no sense of appreciation for what teachers do. They follow makeup and trends and fashion single mindedly. They don't wake up till they hear about some sort of an exam or something O.O And the worst part is , once they show up , they are like ( دكتوررااااااااه , كم صفحة تبغي البحث / الواجب ؟؟ ) Waja3 it's so irritating , we're not kindergarten :@ or the most famous yet most pissing off request ( !! يادكتورره احزفي لنا جزء من المنهج .. مرررررة كتيييييير ومرررررة صعب) Ufff .. You study for life not for exams , gals! I realy don't know when we are going to snap out of this. It's getting unbearable wallahi!

Bottom line , everything is connected , and it's everybody's fault. Everybody's responsibility. Teachers should wake up and smell the coffee. Be carefull with those little minds in your hands. Stand for perfect role models. Once when one of your students grows up , s\he is either gonna speak highly of you and thank the day he had you for a teacher or s\he is ..... well I better not say! For students , CUT THE BALONEY and stop blaming everybody else for why you are losers!

P.s. It's not that I'm Abrar the most educated perfect Saudi girl , but when I say something is wrong , it is wrong !

Two Mad Weeks (Picz)

2010-12-06T08:24:00.000-08:00

Updates

Alsalam alikom everybody. I'm terribly sorry for being such a slacker T__T Been leading an insane life lately with the school and the university and everything. I miss you ALL , and I can't wait till this week is over to start jacking around your bolgs :p I now have the most wonderful 43 followers. You have no idea how happy I am ! 43 is a huge number for me :) so thank you all LOADS ..

Umm .. wanted to speak less this time << Yeah apparantly O.O and provide you with some pictures of the things I've been doing for the last couple of weeks .. Enjoy

Gifts for my distinguished students

CORRECTING

Heaps of worksheets

This is the first error analysis worksheet I've done with them. The errors were from their homework.

This was really helpful.

This is the last disaster I've done to the Saudi educational system .. I teach idioms HOOORAAAAY

I also happen to have a horrible handwriting , don't I ?

A spelling-vocabulary-checking activity .. they LOVE it !

Our table ( My side )

Manal's side over there

Asma's Side

I made this mess :D :D

What do you think ?! and p.s.wish me luck with my exam tomorrow .. love you all xoxo

Dear Clear Conscience , Knock It Off !

2010-11-07T10:26:00.000-08:00

Alsalam alikom everybody. Hope all is well at your ends?! I hate to be a drama queen , and I really really hate to write at extreme frustration and disappointment at the whole universe , but wallahi I can't help it. You know how picky and freakin' sensitive I'm , and you also know how awful the life out there is , but hey , I'm still here , life is still stupid , so you have to get used to it. This post is for me and for those enthusiastic peeps. Always starting wired and so excited , ending up a doomed wreck. Like me now !

Gonna start off with a very reasonable question : Have you ever had one of those uncontrollable outrageous urges of knocking your head to the walls beacause you only feel stupid ???? Actually , to tell you the truth , I felt so for almost everyday in my bity life , but I did it today! Did it as in did knock my head to the wall ....Yep , thanks for your sympathy and felt good BTW O.o

Been a mad day at school. I was totally dejected because of my classes' exam's results. It turned out that the headmistress of the school is having a spy in every class ( a student ) and probably a spy in our room as well who rats us all out! Really uncalled-for :( I also had to take (1/5) i.e. the lunatics ward i.e. the class I hate most for two periods in a row today in order to keep it up with the other classes. And guess what ? I snapped .. I walked out of the door with one of the greatest breakdowns in history !

This class has literally driven me insane from the very first days. Unmanagable and unteachable and unbelievable! Wallahi I've done everything I know .. every single thing to try to manage it , and nothing seems to work. Yelling , shouting , and kicking out of the class didn't work. In fact , when I kick the lousy ones out , the class grows into a heaven. Of course , the less the merrier xD But , I found out that those freaks whom I shooed away are jakin' around in the hallways and disturbing the other classes. Ufff , I'm stuck with them! So taking names? threatening with marks? separating from each other? being friendly and understanding?! All done , none worked.

It's sad that it's the same class that has the most excellent gurls in the school , and the ones I'm so crazy about , so I didn't want to risk them. Last resort for me was to say ( الدرس مشروح ) I was worried about the others ; the ones who care , and I also wanted to see if the "Tanabel" care! ....... They didn't give a thing .. surprise surprise !! So back to square one T____T

One of them asked me once ( why would you care? what do you want from us? you are only a trainee ???? )You know what ? You are right! Why would I care? Why , huh ? WHY? The easiest thing I can do is to write your lesson on the board without spelling a word , sit my butt on the chair and read a book , God or listen to music if I want to for the rest of the period. When my supervisor comes , I'm gonna act the way every teacher acts , and sure as hell I'm gonna score a high grade !! Yeah , WHY DO I CARE ? It's not my fault , it's not my problem !

I LOVE this scene in Good Will Hunting.

Last but not least , my only advice for you guys out there is stop trying to be perfect , just do your job and please .. please don't try to fix the world because the only things you'll come up with are (1) loathing yourself and the whole planet accordingly and (2) making a fool weirdo out of yourself , and oh .. you'll have a soup sandwhich eventually .. trust me on that !

My Rubbish

2010-10-27T07:54:00.000-07:00

Aloohaa , welcome to lunatics ward! A place whose people once believed in themselves , over-thought , daydreamed , imagined the world to be a Utopia of their own. People who knocked themselves out. Got mentally-emotionally-physically-wrung out and walked out of their minds in the process ! Yup , it's true that I've turned into a big fat maniac , and I think I'm already starting to develop some DID symptoms ..... if you know what I mean !? I'm a teacher by morning , a student by afternoon ; my students call me teacher in the morning , and I call other people teachers in the afternoon ; my teachers correct my papers , I correct my students' assignments and quizzes ! Quite disturbing O.o

Anyhow , without further ado , and to breifly fill you in. School is going I dunno .. tough and awkward and weird and tiring but still good and so much fun. My supervisor is coming this week to see if I'm ruining the whole Saudi educational system or not .. Bahahahaaa ... fingers crossed! Half of my students are having crushes on me , and it's totally freaking me out and that's only on the grounds of 1)- I'm a nice freak and 2)- my students are a bunch of petite teenagers! It's like they run after me in the hallways and go like ' teacher Abrar .. we love you soooo much ' ' Ms.Abrar , you are so cuuuuute ' I smile clumsily at them while I whisper to myself ' Piss off you light minded ' and I go like " Gooosh , was I this annoying ????" I bet I was such a giant pain in the ass!!!

Speaking of crushes , I was in one of my classes the other day and the lesson was very exciting indeed , and I was jumping all over the place , and the students were thoroughly into it , .. and I spotted one of them who was clearly spaced out , I ignored her and after a few seconds we went in a deep silence as she-out of no where- let out " Teacher , are you American ?? " the whole class burst into laughters. It was hilarious xD I was asking myself " What gave it away ????? " Think it's my accent :p heheheee It really reminded me of secondary school sweet days .. me having crushes on my teachers and other juvenile stuff :D

To add more rubbish , I'm gonna miss the Islamic and the Arabic groups soo much. They left the school this week coz their training period was over. They were filling the room with laughters and joy and the smell of Arabic coffee they used to fetch every morning. We truely going to miss them a big time ! Also , I'm sooooo loving my English group ; Manal , Asma , and Amal. They are great. So cooperative and helpful , and I was impressed by how good in English they are. I would've never asked for a better company. Al7amdu li Allah :)

For tonight , I was planning to watch Capitalism ; A Love Story once more , but I dunno O.o according to my awakened conscience compass that's been pointing North a lot lately , Moore might be the last person I wanna listen to! So, dunno how things're gonna go. I downloaded a new Russel Peters & Jerry Seinfeld's stand up comedy. Two episodes of Hell's Kitchen S07 , and I'm also waiting for the new episode of House M.D. to come out tonight , FTW ! I deserve a big treat , don't I ? One thing more , I really wanna read this book .. like soooooo badly :s

Stay tuned dear readers xoxo

P.S. Don't mind me please , I'm in such a good mood :p

Teaching Challenges

2010-10-21T03:36:00.000-07:00

I've been an English trainee teacher for two weeks now which BTW felt as if two months , and as I said earlier , I've been concerned about this experience since forever. Teaching would be the hugest challenge to take for a quite troubled young lady like myself ! and lemme tell you one of the frustrating things , when people learn about the fact that I'm being a secondary school teacher they go like O.O WHHHHAT?! it always feels like I'm not cut out for it whatsoever! but still , to be honest with you , I find it right at some points :D As a tiny person , I would be a tremendous mockery to stand in front of students who are waaaay taller and larger than me! However , the size issue is something I believe I could handle xD

From the very first day I came in the school , I tried to kick my social anxiety out of the nearest window and to -like every body has been telling me- act bold and brave and yes I would yell at the girl who even looks at me if it took me to ! And here is one fact , it was STUPID! literally stupid :s and then I started to think WHY would I do that ? I just have to be myself , right ? OK .. I was myself , and I was able to do it. I controlled the class and I was calm. I felt good about myself till I started to get followed by almost all the girls in the school to 'Ashfa3' for them because they were running away from their classes. What the WHAT ??? It turned out that my reputation in the school was of such a new freakin' sweet English teacher who is obviously and sincerely loved by all the staff and could present a good 'shafa3a' O.O although I've never done it. Crazy , right ?

Anyways , my very big fat challenge was to -for almost the first time- stand in a room that's masha'Allah stuffed with human beings while trying to make a very good first impression. I think I've pulled it off Al7amdu li Allah. My first class was very good , not awesome but good considering my freaked out state of mind & body ! :D It was actually weird that I felt nervous for the first five minutes and then when I saw those shiny eyes following me eagerly as I paced the class , I pulled myself together and went on. The lesson went very smoothly and my kids were very active and participant. They were asking about the words' meanings and answering questions I ask and asking me to repeat if they couldn't understand. I felt great and I was like ' How come people say teaching sucks and teaching is difficult and bla bla ??????????? ' for real , easy peasy lemon squeezy !

The answer to the question came right away as the period was over. Two students came to me while I was arranging my stuff and the rest of the class was leaving and they said ' Teacher , we didn't understand our lesson today' Uh-oh !! I asked why ? they said that I spoke English all the time. I replied back that if I didn't do so they'll never learn. One of them uttered madly ' English is very difficult , English is devastating , we hate English ya teacher ' I was astonished , but I promised that I'll make it easier for them next time. They thanked me and left. <<--Oh snaaap , this is really getting difficult !

I felt responsible for these girls and the many many others who didn't come to me. I tried to make it easier for them the next class , and I was sooooo happy to see Yasmeen and Manar participating and nodding their heads every time I ask 'Did you understand'. At the same class , in the evaluation part , I was asking my students to give me sentences and do exercises about the rule I've just explained, and there was a student at the back who was nodding and responding 'YES' and laughing all the way , and I was actually noticing that she was turning her book to a page that is not even close to ours! I came to her. I smiled and said ' Razan is so active today , isn't she? ' she smiled and I asked her to do the next exercise. The girl went blue O.O She stood up and started scratching her skull ' uh .. umm ....' She uttered. I asked her whether or not she was with me. Her answer was very quick as she said 'NO' I groaned ' OH MY GOD ! is this another disaster ???!'

I asked her to write down what's written on the board , and she told me she doesn't want to. I dared to ask why , and she answered she will take it from one of the girls. I lost my nerves by then , but I withheld. I told her in a sharp tone to write her lesson. She nodded and I went on my lesson. A minute later , the only thing happened is Razan drawing her chair and making a noise as she goes. She stopped right in front of the board , sat down and started to write. I wasn't amazed as much as I was scared of the action she took! My eyes were popped out and my jaw was dropped. I stopped my lesson and asked ' Razan ? What are you doing ?' she said 'يا أبلة إنتِ قلتِ لي اكتبي الدرس ' I asked her if she can't see from her place , and she said that she could see clearly !!! I dunno , what exactly was that ????

Boy , during these couple of weeks I saw things for the first time in my life. It's a whole total different world from the ones I lived during my life time. In elementry school I was the headmistress's spoiled daughter! In intermediate and secondary school I was in my mother's friend's school , and I was my teachers' beloved student. Likewise in the university , I'm this quiet nerd who usually kept to herself. But now , I AM A TEACHER. I'm resposible for something like 100 or more students from complete different cultures and backgrounds. I have to deal with each and every one of them in her way .. Awesome , right?

Among the new things I faced during these mad weeks is the misbehaved and rude , and sometimes the hyperactive students. I dealt with them in different ways. I sent some to the headmistress and she did what's needed -BTW , our headmistress scares the hell out of the students and BTW , that didn't work- Some of them I was able to discipline by getting them on my side. I ask one of them for example to come and sit on the computer and to click enter every time I ask her to in case of using a PowerPoint presentation. I ask another one to distribute the handouts and it actually worked and was amazingly helpful.

I have noticed that dealing with them this way i.e. the nice way , was more efficient. They were bearing with me , and I could tell from their eyes that they understood and that they're interested! It was really hard to try to maintain respect and control in the class while at the same time I busted my ass off to make it alive and most importantly for my students to feel safe while I'm around. If I was just able to do that , I will be so happy and satisfied.

That's it for now. Will fill you in with the updates soon. Thanks for your time and vaya con dios all :)

There's Something About English Teachers ; A Story Of Mine

2010-10-08T06:00:00.000-07:00

To start things off , I had a lousy week. incredibly craplicious and stressful. I didn't have so many classes , but still as usually there was plenty of crap that I had to put up with , and it was eatin' away at me. I tried to work it out last night. My lovely cousin asked to massage me and I wouldn't say no for sure :D I had a bath and lit up vanilla candles. Everything was so perfect , and I was totally relaxed. You won't even believe how appealing my bed and darling pillows seemed .. of course , this was before I realize they were tempting me !

Hooray , I jumped into my bed , and so passionately hugged a pillow 'cause I truly couldn't believe it that my pillows are finally united ! They're befriending me yaaay! This was also before I realize my pillows were talking to each other , and more surprisingly to me *Bummer* "Been a while" said Deb the big one and the boss "Yeaaah" replied Liv , the one I'm hugging " so everything is goin well out there ?" Debby asked. I was going O.O for a few seconds and then I had a talk in my mind ( it's asking me a question , I should probably answer ) "Um.. not really no" I said "Why?" Unexpectedly lazy 'lizzie' inquired. It startled me a little coz I thought it was asleep !!

I let out a sharp exhale and answered " Nothin .. my life is screwed up , and I'm a giant chaos " " How come ?" Liv inquired "I have to graduate this semester" " And you are depressed because of that ?" Said Lizzie "NOOO.. It's just so stressful . I have a lot of classes that I'm not done with yet , and I have to take them all now because it's growing unbearable in there. On top of that I'll have to take them with the practical training !" " Practical training ???" asked my pillows and I answered " Yeah , I'm going to be a secondary school teacher " " Oooh snaaaap" cried out Sam , a yahoo yet loyal fellow .. I mean pillow! I was comin' along with the whole me-talking-to my pillows situation , and I got carried away " You won't believe how tense and burdened I am .. I've been worried about this since I can remember , and now it's actually happening T___T".

I stepped further and rambled on " You see , our university never ceases to amaze me. They have a new enigma for every single day. Do you know what happened when choosing the schools we'll be training at ?? It was a catastrophe ! Can you even believe that it was completely random .. they used to call out the name of the school and the first two girls who rise their hands are the ones to go to that school !!! What tha ......? What kind of standard is that ?? Why on earth can't those people find some decent policy through which they can deal with such situations ???? Girls were falling apart , melting down and crying. Of course , I wasn't chosen for the school I wanted , but still , and for my good luck , I was put in a good school , I learnt about it later ! Ahhh " I felt a frozen moment in there and I looked around to find the pillows with their eyes seven inches out ! Of course , it felt as if you pressed a vent-without stopping- button !

" Though I had no clue what you were talking about , but it sounded bad " Said Deb " Totally ! I replied " I had a tough time getting over that sick joke ! But still , I was pretty much consumed with the teaching process , the headmistress , the teachers , the supervisor .. but more importantly the kids ..." As it got serious , I panicked . I felt I wasn't going to fit in. I had this notion that I'd suck as a teacher , as a classroom manager , as a communicator ..... Thoughts were waging wars against each other inside my head. I started my drama queening by then and naturally burst into tears.

In a few moments I felt silence and warmth and Deb was holding still under my cheek as I rolled rivers down while Sam was darning all the way ! Liv resumed the conversation and started to pep talk me " I know everything is going down all at once with you , but it's been worse .. much much worse with you , and you knocked it out " I sniffed and wiped my tears. Deb added " Remember that semester when you used to leave home at 7:00 in the morning and come back at 10:00 at night .. not only that , but you stayed up all night doing your homework? " Yeah " I said in a broken voice" Was one hell of a semester " " And you also scored the highest grades ! You can do it " I wasn't convinced though.

" Remember that day when you burnt up my back ? " Asked Sam with its face wrinkled up " When you put your lap top over me and watched that mumbo jumbo movie " " I rolled my eyes " That movie with the maniac English teacher who told his students to Carpe Diem " Explained Sam and I cried " Dead poets society .. wait , he's not maniac !! " " Yeah whatever .. what was the quote you loved ?" I uttered joyfully " Two roads diverged in a wood, and I, I took the one less traveled by,And that has made all the difference. Robert Frost " :*****

We talked for a while and I started to ponder as Lizzie reminded me of one of my favourite movies and books as well " Freedom Writers "I realized then that I was being silly. That's what I always wanted ! Erin Gruwell was always such a role model. She was a normal person till she chose the hard thing ; to go to Wilson high school , something that no one would've gone with willingly , but she has. She made the hugest difference in those kids' lives. Not only Mrs.Gruwell , but a huge list of inspirational people .. English teachers for specific rolled down in my head.

I love English teachers , and I would so much love it if I was one because it took the world my great English teachers to change my life. My secondary school English teacher Mrs.Shaikha. I would've never loved English language as much as I do if it wasn't for her. So giving , and so enthusiastic. She is the greatest ! I missed her like crazy when I graduated , but I was determined to be as good as I can in English.

When I got to college , I was extremely uncomfortable being there. Studying English at my university sucked , it did and still does and will probably do. I've got to a point where I could no longer tolerate it , so I dropped a semester and decided to see what I will do with the dilemma. Things didn't work out with me , and I came back. I was meant to be stuck with the same stupidity! This time , I was devastated and didn't give a crap about a thing till Dr.Hadeer came along and my life started to make sense for once more. A year later , there came Dr.Amani & Dr.Hayat and now there is Dr.Salah. They're all great. You know , I have a nose for good teachers. I fall in love with them on sight even if I've never spoken to them. Creepy , huh ? My friends as always think I'm out of my freakin' nuts!

I looked my pillows on the eyes and sparked " what if I was someone else's Shaikha or Hadeer or Hayat ? wouldn't that be the most super awesome thing ? " My pillows cried " Totally " Liv added " That's my girl " While Sam went " Mazel tov , can we sleep now? " I grinned and sank into the bed , and I must say I slept my night splendidly ^.^

It Pisses Me Off

2010-08-23T15:21:00.001-07:00

It pisses me off when people keep bitching about every single thing they come across , and commentate on the tiniest details that they absolutely have nothing to do with ! They won't let anything go smoothly .. as if they have some kind of itching ! Yeah , maybe they are falling angels , right ? Why don't you guys mind your own bussiness and try to fault-find yourself , ha ?

When women gather up and start their "you know what" ; " Flana who got divorced , and the other poor whom her husband got married again " and don't forget "Oh my God she is already '15' and she's not married yet , not even engaged O.O ? Grow up ladies !

It is very annoying when nothing in the whole universe - to each and every member of my family - is more upsetting than my sleeping pattern !!! and when my uncles go like " What the hell is she doing sleeping now " When do you want me to sleep uncle ? it's either now or then ! and when my cousins say " Some pattern you have " O.O " How could she sleep at this time " Is that all you got folks ? My sleeping pattern ?????!!!!

It pisses me off when I get myself into trouble or get embarassed in a situation , and yet I try so hard to get over it . However , there comes one of my goofy brothers or cousins - who actually bore witness - and bring it up to me on sight . Super !

" See , I'm a person who highly respects others' interests . I however could kick your butt if you ever thought of taking mine lightly " Sorry , this was some disturbed's soliloquy O.o . Anyways , it irritates me when some one inquires with a wrinkled up face " You're reading Hitler's bio ?? " Ummm .. I'm sorry .. am I missing something ? yes Hitler ... as in Adolf Hitler , heared of him ?? You don like me reading Hitler's biography so don't give me that face , please ? . I never did so for your Korean and Indian movies you watch all the time .

I HATE IT .. really literally hate it when my mother or my aunts - or whoever - compares me to my other cousins or any other chick with high heels and layers of makeup on her face ! *rolling eyes* You want me to be like this ; makeup and heels and hair up to the ceiling ? well , thank you , but I'm just fine with the way I look . Leave me alone !!

That's all I remember for now . Maybe I'll come back later and add a few more .. considering my pissed off state of mind !

Ramadan Mubarak

2010-08-11T19:42:00.000-07:00

Ramadan mubarak to all of you dear Muslim readers . We've been all waiting for this for quite a while , and now it's here alhamdulillah . May Allah provide us all with patience and the ability to fast the month . Hope we all grow better people and become of those whom prophet Muhammad , peace and blessings be upon him , said about:

"Whoever established prayers on the night of Qadr out of sincere faith and hoping for a reward from Allah, then all his previous sins will be forgiven; and whoever fasts in the month of Ramadan out of sincere faith, and hoping for a reward from Allah, then all his previous sins will be forgiven."

Reported by Al-Bukhari .

Prophet Muhammad's mosque in Medinah

P.S. I miss Ramadan in Medinah ! T___T
P.P.S. I'm sorry for not posting anything in quite sometime . I promise I'll get it back on track very soon insha'Allah .

P.P.P.S. This was meant to be here in a few days back , but thanks to my connection and to being lazy !

What Is It With The Twilights ?

2010-07-11T17:10:00.000-07:00

I've come to hate being in a holiday lately because of the many many things I ponder owing to the plenty of time I have + the prevalence of my pickiness << Oh snap .. looks like somebody is gonna rant ... AGAIN !!

Yeah whatever , one of the things that I can't quite figure out in any way is this Twilight phenomenon ! can't really tell what is so special about it !! why all people are so sucked into the love of this story ?? I mean , in all seriousness guys , and with all all all the respect to the writer , all the fans and the twi-hards or what so called , I think it's the cheesiest sleaziest story I've ever known ! There are a million movies out there which are just pointless and lame , but I don't care . What makes an enigma for me is why specifically this movie ??? is it really worth it ????? I need some reasonable answers please ! last but not least , excuse my messed up mood and bitter rant !

That's Me .. The 'Lecturer'

2010-07-02T07:52:00.000-07:00

Inspired by the lovely Fadiosis

I've never been a teacher before , I nevertheless can see clearly how difficult teaching is . It might be the hardest job ever , but only for those who have a clear conscience , those who are bearing in mind how critical and sensitive their position is , and who are ready to shoulder some responsibility ; shaping minds , changing attitudes and lives , and standing for role models .

Teaching is getting harder and harder especially under the circumstances that we are living nowadays like students' resistance , teachers' irresponsibility , and stupid educational institutions' policy and systems !! In order to be a good teacher , you have to be a wise , dedicated , knowledgeable , strong , and resourceful person ..it takes a lot ! Hence , we don't come across so many good teachers !!!! and because I'm sick of that , I've decided that when I'm to become a teacher , I'd rather be a good one .. and that's what I will do insha'allah :

Preparation is of a major importance for me . I will never accept unprepared students in my classes .
I will never ever ever ever take up MEMORISING as one of my techniques .
I'll have EXTRA reading materials . I'll be demanding my students to read and to do assignments on them .
YES .. I'll be a pain in the ass doctor .
I care nothing about attendance . If you want to attend you are the most welcomed , and if you don't for sure I'm not to blame eventually .
Though I don't care about attendance , I won't accept any late students , and I respect each student who shows up and be always on time .
Exams-oriented-mentality students' conversations piss me off . I'll never ever allow any exams conversations in my classes . Drop this and keep that , and the what will we have in the exam* questions are completely FORBIDDEN .
Seminars .. I really can't see why our universities don't have seminars !!!! Anyways , I'll work my best to have my students a seminar once in a while .
Office hours are crucial . When I become a lecturer , I'll be sitting my butt on my chair all the time I have office hours .
If you care to enroll on my class .. go ahead , and if anybody wants to drop FEEL FREEEEEEEE !

___
*Fadiosis

Arabic Coffee

2010-07-01T07:20:00.000-07:00

The very first thing I ask for when I wake up is coffee , it awakens me and puts me in the mood right away when I take my first sip . It's my headache killer , for I usually have headache when I get up , but it goes immediately when I drink or even smell Arabic coffee . It's what accompanies me in my nostalgic nights , and what makes our family gatherings taste unforgetable . When I get really moody , depressed , or exhausted .. all what I need is one hot smooth cup of Arabic coffee , and it's all away !

On the other hand , and in order to get a longlasting pleasure of a cup of coffee , you have to go through a few steps like preparation 'roasting , grinding ....' , cooking , and SERVING coffee . I'll be tackling only the serving stage ' Mubasharah' in this post , I'm not going to go through the others because (1) I'm not a cook (2) serving is a really hard tiring process .. it requires a lot actually (3) it's one of the traditions that have been obsolescent and no longer taken up by most people especially the young generations ; us and the ones to come (4) I always miss up at serving coffee !!! Ok now .. shall we learn some rules :D :D

-First and most importantly the server 'Qahwaji' :

S/he should remain standing and observant to every guest in case anyone is done with his coffee , or wants more .
At some cultures , he should keep silent .
Should start with the old people and then start with who is sitting at the very right of the room all the way he goes to the left .
S/he should hold the Dallah in his left hand and the cup 'Finjan' in the right one in order to pour and then hand . (as shown in the pic)
The server should neither fill nor pour a little coffee in the guest's cup , for it'll be considerd rude .
Should be respectful to anyone who says s/he doesn't want coffee though the guest shouldn't say so .

- For the guest :

It'll be considered impolite if you say you don't want coffee . Have at least one Finjan .
You can't drink coffee while you're leaning . Adjust the way you are sitting and have your cup .
If you are done and want more , just extend your cup .
If you are done but you don't want more , shake your cup , or simply say 'Bass' which means enough .
DO NOT blow into your cup if your coffee was hot .. never !

That's all I know . Hope it was of a little benefit .
Off to have a cup ;)

Conceptualize or Be Misconceptualized !

2010-06-25T09:50:00.000-07:00

! Updates !

Maybe around a month and a half ago ' can't precisely remember ' I attended a lecture for my Literature Professor Dr.Hadeer . The lecture was titled ‘Rewriting of “self” in Arab American Women Literature’ . It was in Arabic , so this makes it (أشعار المرأة العربية في المهجر , الجذور وإعادة كتابة الذات) you can check it out Here . I pointed out to the same topic in an earlier post anyhow .

The professor introduced us to many outstanding Arab American poetess and writers with their most prominent works . Write or be written was the quote she mentioned by Barbra Nimri Aziz as she went further and explained what it meant .. ' If you didn't write about yourself what you desire other people to learn then you can't get upset when someone writes what you dislike to be known about you' .

What I came up with is that the write or be written thing is something that can be applied to everything in our lives , not only to writing but even to our way of talking , dressing , dealing with people .. if we don't do it properly , we'll be giving people chances to say anything they want about us !!! and personally , to tell you the truth , I haven't thought I would write about such a thing , but it was always there , you know when you have this idea that sticks to your head all the time .. this one was of the most prevailing for me , and the only reason why I am telling all these stuff now is that some freakin people kinda got on my nerves today << how surprising !

I was browsing through You tube , and I was really really shocked to see those enormous vids that the only thing they've been doing is giving complete inappropriate wrong false ideas about Saudis !! Most of them were made by foreigners , but you know what , they aren't to blame because what shocked me the most is that some of these videos are made by Saudis !! all the way I went I was like ' come on guys , seriously , either you say good decent things or you shut the hell up' !! I'm not saying that Saudis are perfect .. it's just that we don't want to have these misconceptions !!!! I saw people who are just portraying Saudis as ' hamaj + mota5allefeen + ignorant and shallow ' by all standards !! Till now , I only happened to see a very few (as compared to others) people who gave clear honest pictures of who the Saudis really are .. well , the good news is most of these are simply façade !!!!

I have also come across this which really warmed my heart . It doesn't have anything to do with the Saudis thing whatsoever , but it provides a very good example of Write or be written .

Peace

Life , Can I Have A Me Time Please ?

2010-06-23T19:30:00.000-07:00

Meditating .. contemplating .. pondering over .. uughh what is the word ?? Can't tell , apparantly I'm just too tired to even think of an appropriate word to use . Anyway , I was 'looking carefully' at myself at the mirror the other day , and to tell you the truth , I didn't like what I saw . I saw a pale face which is just turning into a ' terrible fish ' , wide black circles around my TIRED eyes , and acnes have covered my cheeks . My hair was a mess , my hands peeling , and I lost a lot of weight . Not to mention the migraine , neck/backache that kept me wide awake the whole nights . In brief , I'm having a physical mental brain functional emotional BREAKDOWN !! and I know how miserable and finished I sound , but never mind me .. I only happened to be (1) a CRUSHED senior (2) a hard worker (3) an idiot who is trying to fix the world (4) and suck me !! It's ok .. I'm cool .. I survived !!

So , to get 'ME' back on track , I thought I could have 'Me time' , you know what this means .. it means that every thing has to be about and for ME .. only ME and HELL to the world !! yes sometime when I spoil myself , indulge , and enjoy the luxuries of life . The only things that I've been consumed with since I had my last exam - well , even when I was having exams - are how many DAYS I should sleep , and to which salon I must go , where I can have a great massage , and which malls I should be visting , and what the books I have to read are ,, and God how can I get into this ????

Now , off to bath and then sleep .. wake me up on Saturday !

Me At The Museum ~ The sequel ~

2010-06-08T04:29:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone ,

Here is part 2 of my journey as I promised . So so sorry for the late .. I had some issues with my laptop :) Anyways .. Enjoy it ^_^

( The caption will be above each picture )

Will start with the Dandurma

Which I liked the most .. a tool for making ice cream :D

Hawand or Madag

for grinding grains , coffee beans , and wheat

A new Hawand

Raha

It's another 'tool' I can say for grinding stuff .. just like the latter

Made me realize how easy our lives are !!

Come in sizes :D

For keeping water

Zeer

And Hawd

Samoor

For heating water

Ok now my favourite part

Coffee utensils

This is Mehmas

For roasting coffee beans.. a long spoon comes with it .

It's made this way

Another type of Mehmas

It's also used for cooking coffee

Dallahs

Who doesn't know it ?

and doesn't coffee taste soo good when made in these ??!!

Me'mara

For keeping coffee cups

Not a huge pot !!

Oh look .. it has my letter on it :D

More pots

ladles

!!!!!!!!

These are more utensils but they were made later

My grandmas use them :)

And now .. the biggest surprise for the most ancient stuff

Pepsi !!!!!!

:D :D

Done

Have a blessed day you all :)

Rainy soundtrack .. Rainy Mood

2010-06-07T15:55:00.000-07:00

I had a soundtrack for the blog .. It doesn't really go with the template , but I soo liked it :) Isn't the sound of rain just soo relaxing ?? !! I am so in luv with it .. as if it was my life's :)

OCD

2010-06-06T15:34:00.000-07:00

Today I have got a confession to make .. Yep a confession about me being a very troubled young lady << please don't feel sorry for me :( It's a fact that I'v been dealing with for a long time , ruined my life , took away my enjoyments , stressed me out , and always got the best out of my nerves .. Ladies and gentlemen , may I present to you my OCD !!

Yes , I have OCD and I'm not proud . I can tell you how much it sucks to be OCDed . I'm a very very very picky person by nature , and havin' the OCD just made everything hell worse for me !! Ughhh I always drive my mother crazy while in the kitchen because I have to clean everything .. I take three hours to make a salad because I need to wash the vegetables with soap a dozen of time !!

My friends think I'm nuts for I keep a bottle of liquid soap in my bag , I have two kinds of sanitizers , Dettol wipes , and a Dettol liquid in my locker .. yeah .. Dettol is like my best loyal friend , I use it in almost every thing . When I take a shower I wash my body first with Dettol . I wash my clothes with Dettol , and it's impossible for me to clean anything without using Dettol . I had times when I couldn't touch anything , not a single thing even if it was mine .. my mobile , my books or anything that I could imagine to have germs or bacteria .

I also have a crazy weird stuff .. SOCKS I really have an issue with socks << awkward huh ? I can't stand staying with a pair of socks for more than two hours , and at the university because I walk a lot , my socks get a lot of dust and stuff and I just feel sick when I spot them , so I started to keep extra socks in my school bag & in my locker so I can change when ever I want ! See ?

And here is one thing more. My OCD is not only with cleanness , it's almost with everything . For example , I get extremely distracted in my classes when a teacher writes a leaning line or misspell a word .. I keep thinking of that wrong letter and how can I make that line straight < get me waaay nervous at times !! Anyways , I'm workin so hard to overcome it .. it's not easy at all I know , but I'll keep going in hopes of a little change and .. fingers crossed !!

Hmmm , I think that's it for my little bitty pathetic life xD what about you ? Has anyone had any stories with OCD ? I'll be so excited to have you in the club ;)

My Crazy French Whims

2010-06-05T17:43:00.000-07:00

I wish to ..

(1)

Live a day in Paris

Please let me go there please ..

(2)

Have a Ladurée

I want that macaroon soooo badly .. I want to cry :'(

(3)

Look like a French gal , with a beret

(4)

Visit this ..

(5)

Learn French

My Stuff .. Apology Letters

2010-06-03T02:26:00.000-07:00

Dear Room ,
I know that you lately seemed as if you were hit by a magnitude earthquake .. Please forgive me for the filthy messy situation I've been puttin' you in . Sorry for the heaps and heaps of books and papers .. for the coffee mugs that piled on my desk and my nightstand . Sorry for the clothes scattered everywhere .. and for the messy closet and drawers ..
I promise .. I'll make it up for you :)

My Lovely School Bag ,
I have no idea how big the sorry should be .I've been carrying all my desk and the whole room inside you . Forgive me for makin' a trash out of you .. I know how insulting this was for you since we are buddies for six years .. you've been with me the whole days and you know how much I get stuck with every thing ..

My Darling Printer ,
Though I was so upset and mad at you when you swallowed my papers .. and when you quit working the night before handing my homework .. I'm sorry .. I understand that it's been too much on you .. I apologize and ask you to please be back ..

My Lovely Email ,
A big sorry for you dear .. sorry for over working you only for my personal services and homework . Sorry for not taking a good care of you .. I promise I will put you in a very good use .. don't worry :)

My Sweet Sweet Pillow ,
Big huge sorries go for you .. I know how much you miss me .. I understand that you are bored to death and so annoyed by the papers and books gathered around you and beneath you .. I promise that I'll be with you for the whole day very soon :)

Sincerely Yours

Israel

2010-06-02T08:40:00.000-07:00

Don't worry Israel .. you'll have it back one day ..

وَ اللهُ يُمْهِلْ وَلاْ يٌهْمِلْ

Should I Kill myself ?

2010-05-28T01:15:00.000-07:00

Good is bad ?

Right is wrong !?

Weird is normal !!

I think that life is just really hard , complex , and strange to be figured out , isn't it ? . I mean everything just keeps going the wrong way , everything is getting worse rather than better , people tend to use the sneaky ways way more than the direct ones , people aren't ready to do anything for the sake of doing it unless they'll be gainin' a benefit out of it .. and it really happens that people think you are a kind of freak or something when you just don't do the stuff that they do , OR you just do the things that you are on the habit of doing . I keep asking myself .. what is goin' on with these people ?? what is wrong ?? and sometimes I just look at the mirror and say are you positive you are doing the right things ??????????? Well I believe that if you just get yourself upside down .. life will be of a great sense for you !!

To make it clear , I'll give you just one little tiny example of the things from the real life that gets me pissed off .... Cheating Yup yup CHEATING .. The girls at the university get shocked when they learn that I don't cheat ( Alhamdulillah ) you are selfish they say and they think I'm the freakin weirdo around here !!! I'm just a person of principles .. and I'll never give them up .. I believe that cheating is something wrong , unaccepted , disgusting , and forbidden in Islam !!!!!!! and I'm sure that people know it very well . However they do it , they invent and create and plan for CHEATING .. the girls spend their times in preparing to cheating rather than studying !!

Ughh .. I'm sorry I blabbed a lot .. I'm just being provoked and so nervous on this grounds besides that this subject is the one that really gets the best out of my nerves and makes me lose my temper indeed .

P.S. What I say never applies to all this is for sure .

P.P.S. I'm not judging specific people around here .. I just don't like what these people do !

Final whisper

“All men make mistakes, but only wise men learn from their mistakes.”

Winston Churchill

My Literary Criticism Project . Whew !

2010-05-26T07:14:00.000-07:00

Salams everybody ,
Hope you are all doing very well :)

I was so excited to post this yesterday when I came home from the university , but unfortunately I couldn't because I just fell asleep on the couch while I was eating my lunch :D :D .. my brother took me to my bed and thus I spent the whole day sleeping !!

Yesterday , I finally handed in my literary criticism research and did the presentation , and guess what .. I didn't crack << Yaaay . I was going through a rough patch the last couple of weeks doing this research .. it was really tiring .

I did something about the Saudi food and ancient utensils . I very briefly tackled food and the most important meals in some regions in Saudi Arabia showing how the food in this country is very diverse as well as the other aspects of life . I mentioned that I chose to talk about this topic because food is very dear and near to people's hearts .. I mean every body loves food , right ?? food has something very attractive about it .. people easily get to know each other through food .

However , I was so afraid my professor wouldn't like it , but alhamdulillah she thought that it was a very interesting topic . Anyways , I am so so relieved I'm done with it .

Now Pictures :D

This is what I used to do my presentation .. a newspaper as you can see . I wrote about the interviews I made with some old ladies versed in the matter .

Did you see the basket ??? :D :D

This is the thing that just got my friends waaaaaaaay pissed off ! Because I didn't take it with me .. I mean I have prepared it and put some of the most delicious Saudi dessert inside the small baskets , but I didn't take it ( Please don't ask )

Arwa just kept saying " You are really irritating me ".. quiet for a moment and then cries " I have all the right to murder you .. I can't believe you " Another one said " you must be kidding " I said "No" then she screamed " WHAT are you insane ?? are you insane ?

Hahaha .. sorry buddies :)

Me At The Museum Part ~ 1 ~

2010-05-18T14:16:00.000-07:00

Few weeks ago , I had a visit to Sheikh Salama museum for heritage here in Medinah . Dady took me with my brothers and we spent almost all the day there . The trip was really treasured . I was introduced to many stuff I never knew or even heared of ! I took maybe a thousand pictures and bought a couple of books . The place was old and very dusty !!!!!!!!!! but it has marvelous stuff that belong to hundred years . I had so much fun .. and thought I could share you guys a few pictures :)

( The caption will be above each picture )

Outside

The Rawasheen ( wooden windows ) .. which is something very special about Hijaz ( western Province ) especially in Medinah .

Inside

This chair is known as Merkaz

These boxes were like .. hmmm .. maybe like closets or something , for they kept their clothes in .

Called Sahara ( stress on H ) :D :D

This is called Shidad or Shugdof << had a tough time pronouncing it !!

It's what they put over camels .

Rababa

A very old musical instrument that was used by bedouins

Its voice annoys me so much. However , people just adore it and still play it till today .

Mebkhara

Where we burn Bakhoor .. fragment woodchips

It's pretty huge :D

Coal Iron

I think this is imported .

They put hot coal inside it and do their clothes with it !!! << I would have stayed without Ironing !!!!!!!

Sewing machine

Women's clothing

Jewelries and accessories

I can't believe how they managed wearing these ... they look too heavy !

Bracelets

Banajer .. as known here :)

Anklets
We call them Khulkhal or Hejl

Burga3

This is what they used to cover their faces with

Belts

very nice :)

Women's bags and Burga's .. on the left

( Right ) Egal this is what men wore over their Shimagh or Ghutra on their heads .

More bags

Combs !!

MEN

Saudi costumes

Thobe , Ghutra , Egal , and the bullets belt Mehzam .

What they used to wear in wars

It's all iron and lead

Rings

Men so much like these rings , they still wear them so far .

Watches

Cupping tools

Has anyone ever tried cupping ??

I never had , but always felt sick when my father has it .. OMG

Weapons .. swords and shields

My brothers went insane for these :D

Whew !

Done for now .. hope you found this interesting ^_^

Part 2 is going to be about utensils .. I'll be postin' it soon Insha'Allah :)

Later

My Name Is Abrar , And I'm Not A Male !

2010-05-12T12:31:00.000-07:00

Yes , I was surprised to find out that at some cultures my name is a male's name !! Why ? How come ? This soft gentle elegant musical name goes for a male ?? I'm not copping with that !

My name is one of the things I'm in love with << not a narcissist whatsoever :p . It means the righteous , the truthful , the chosen people . It's an Islamic name , and it's a pride that it was mentioned in the Qura'an many times :) . I like my name because it's my name .. it's what represents me , and people always said that you're a part of your name , and I want to be named by my name *what*. Besides , not so many people name Abrar .. it's kinda rare :D :D

Although I luv my name so much , there are some stuff I don't like about it . E.g. my name has always caused me many troubles :( as you can see it starts with the first two letters of the alphabet , so I was always at the very top of any names list in my classes . When I was at school and even now at the university , teachers always shout out my name at first .. grrrr . An other thing is that my name has two R's , and it's sorta difficult to pronounce for those who have a lisp .. it sounds really cute though :p . However , the most shocking of all is what happened when I called a store the other day and the guy at the store .. the staff who answered me really seemed weirdo talking to me especially when he asked about my name to write it down so he can call me back . Then he said Ok BROTHER Abrar ............... !! and I was like what tha ... ? Is this person for real ? ok my name is a male's but does not my voice say something ????????

Anyways , I started to like my name more and more a few days ago when one of my best friends gave birth to such an adorable baby , She named her after me *tearing* saying that she hopes that her baby grows like me .. I was so moved and almost cried ( I'm an emothinal person ) . For Fatooma my friend May Allah protect your baby and grant her health and well-being Ameen .

Things Happen When Not Planned !

2010-05-12T05:41:00.000-07:00

Hey guys ,

Today , my visit to Jarir was treasured . As you can see I bought many interesting fat books ..

Plain Truth By Jodi Picoult
The Time traveler's wife by Audrey Niffenegger .
Markus Zusak's The Book Thief .
If I should Speak By Umm Zakiyyah .
Dr.A'id al-Qarni's You Can Be The Happiest Woman In The World .
The last one is an Arabic book (A collection of Jibran's ) روائع جبران .

The funny Thing about this is that when I went to the bookstore this morning I bore in mind that I'm not going to go to buy any book ( I mean fiction and stuff .. ) cuz I really need to focus on my study , and my MAIN and I repeat my main aim of visiting Jarir was to buy books for my Literary Criticism research ,, something about Saudi Folklore , and I didn't find any book .. not a single one about the topic I chose to tackle , I was so frustrated .. so I headed to the fiction section , then the Islamic section and came up with these six .. and with ZERO research books !!

It happened anyways !!

About my books .. I know that most of you will say OMG where have you been living if you didn't read these so far ? But I really need you to bear in mind that my English is still very simple and humble besides the fact that I never had the courage to buy such fat books with a quite sophisticated language , for I didn't want to get myself down or feel upset and quit reading for ever ! But I've been brave the last couple of times and I made this huge step .

so ,wish me luck ^_^

Tired

2010-05-11T11:50:00.000-07:00

I am tired , I am weary

I could sleep for a thousand year

Mango Street ; A Book Review

2010-05-08T09:14:00.000-07:00

I think I have told you my story while trying to get Mango Street before . I had it sent from Pennsylvania , U.S.A Cuz it wasn't availiable in the bookstores here , and I was a bit afraid that it won't be worthy the trouble I put my uncle through !!! But Alhamduliallah .. it was worthy in big ways . Very unique .. I couldn't really put it down .. well (it's only 110 pages ) :p

The book is about a latin girl "Esperanza" shy and naive . She with her family used to move alot . Mango Street was the last to get their house in . It was the best of all though it was't the house Esperanza always dreamt about in any way . The book gives us snapshots of the life on this street as a poor area , the neighbours , the children , the girls and boys , the stores and every thing . However , the critical thing about this all is how Esperanza reacts to the whole thing as she herself is going through a critical period of her life . The story is so beautifully unfolded as it describes Esperanza's experience through maturity and awarness of the world around her .

The part I liked the most about the book is the way the writer reveals the personality of Esperanza , the way she thinks and talks , her dreams is just astonishing that any girl could identify herself with Esperanza . The descriptions and similes she used had me blown away .. I applaud her for them !

Now , I'll read you little snippets of the book ..

Everything is holding its breath inside me .Everything is waiting to explode like Christmas . I want to be all new and shiny . I want to sit bad at night , a boy around my neck and the wind under my skirt . Not this way , every evening talking to the trees , leaning out my window , imagining what I can't see .

<< SWOONED

Not a flat . Not an apartment in back . Not a man's house .Not a daddy's house . A house all my own . With my porch and my pillow , my pretty purple petunias . My books and my stories . My two shoes waiting beside the bed .... Only a house quiet as snow , a space for myself to go , clean as paper before a poem .

OMG .. guys this book is A MUST .. Trust me ^_~

Upside Down

2010-05-07T10:55:00.000-07:00

" Oh Yeah "

Life makes more sense now !!

My Guilty Pleasure ~1~

2010-05-03T15:39:00.001-07:00

Do you know anybody on Earth who doesn't like Pepsi???

Very few maybe .. and lucky them!

For me , Pepsi is being a temptation .. an addiction that I pray to Allah every day to rid me of . I've been struggling for ever to quit drinking it and I actually did . I haven't drunk it for seven years !!

But now , apparantly I'm back , and I'm feeling horrible .

I felt so awful about myself for doing so during the previous few months ..

It's ruinin' every thing , my bones , my teeth , my stomach and even my apetite !!

But I luv it .. I luv it so hard :( :(

So , what I did with this pepsi is that I used it as a reward for myself .. a treat , as I do sometimes with chocolates . If I was a good girl ; Homework done .. room clean .. laundry done .. books read .. missions completed and all kinds of duty just fulfilled ..... then

I deserve a can .. but this can doesn't happen every day by the way ..

once in ten days or two weeks at maximum ( in HOPES .. big hopes that I gradually leave it )

Doing this I can fulfill my desires and stay healthy as well ( a little bit ) :D

It makes sense , doesn't it ??

OH ..P.S. Please pray for my brother to quit it .. it's so ruining his heath :(

Oh .. Interesting !

2010-05-02T13:15:00.000-07:00

I have always come across such terms like Double consciousness and Twoness while surfing the Internet or reading , and I was kinda attracted to them cuz they really sounded .... Hummm important maybe !!

I've read a little here and there about them , but I didn't feel as excited as today . I haven't realized how interesting this area is till our proffessor tackled it today in our poetry class . The class was about ethnic poetry , she started to draw circles and stuff on the board while she went on explaining , and I knew that I looked really dull from the way Dr.Hadeer looked at me LOL .. I'm sure my eyes were wide opened as well as my mouth !!!!!

Knowing that so many people had more than one identity is nothing new for me , nor is the fact that they might struggled to gain a balanced life , but I haven't really thought ( Don't ask me why cuz I don't have a clue .. truely! ) how this might bring them such knowledge and openness to the world , sometimes much more than the others ..

Alot of names were jumping into my head .. Khalil Jibran and Khalil Mutran , Suheir Hammad , Diana Abu Jaber , Malcolm X , Martin Luther King and many others .. and I was like.. hey these people really pulled off !!

For a moment , I thought ,, why don't I have this double consciousness ? why ???
However , I was quite satisfied at the end when she said that people who learn languages besides their mother tongue are more opened and educated cuz they are more exposed to more than one culture << Yaaaay :D

Au revoir ^_^

Snippets of Me

2010-05-01T12:37:00.000-07:00

Salams

These are some randoms about me ..

Since you are dying to know more about me ..<< Yeaaah !!

Inspired by Texan's

1. I am a morning person .

2. Obsessed with cleanliness .

3. I'm an all kinds of chocolate addict .

4. I like Oreo cookies with Peanut butter .. YummmY .

5. My favourite fruit is Peach .. Vegetables Tomato and carrots .

6. My favourite French perfume is Dior Addict .

7. White Lilac is my flower .

8. I hate feasts and weddings !

9. Facebook sucks . << Ok .. kill me now !

10. I hate .. no I feeeear bugs and insects .

11. I don't have a crush on Dr.Hadeer !!!!

And more to come ..

April is gone !

2010-05-01T12:28:00.000-07:00

" April is the cruellest month "

T.S.Eliot

London Bridges ; A Book Review

2010-04-30T06:47:00.000-07:00

I know that most of you have recognized the title or even the name of the author at a glance , but when I bought it I didn't .. because I had a story !! ... I was at Jarir the other day , and I was in a crazy rush cuz they were shutting down .. they turned off the lights .. while I was still there between the shelves looking for something and I was like .. I have to take another book ' holding four in hands ' .. I have to I have to .. and then in the dark I spotted something has London on it ??? << never holds herself back when it comes to London Uuhh .. and Dhaaa bought it << end of the story !

You might also feel " If you know me well " that it's a little awkward for me to read a book of this type .. I mean crime fiction - you know why *giggles* , this was first . Second , I've never done a book review ... Yeah !! so .. Turn a blind eye please ! Anyways , and without too much ado .. here it is ..

London Bridges is a thrilling novel of Pattersons' . It's a sequel to many others where the hero of all was Alex Cross . I don't want to go through the events and details of the story because you are going to read it , But in brief , Cross is an FBI agent ( originally a policeman in Washington D.C) who has been chasing a criminal 'Geoffrey Shafer' Known as Weasel " a filthy rich sadistic person who likes to rape young girls and then kill them by torturing them " he is involved with the Wolf , a former figure of the Russian Mafia , !! The Wolf demands , the FBI agents , CIA , and homeland security a ransom , they have to pay it in four days . Otherwise he is going to explode Britain , France , NY , and DC . To show them he can , he made an explosion in Nevada first and then in two towns in England and Germany killing thousands of people .

The book was really entertaining and enjoyable . I was turning page after page and going smoothly through the lines , and I actually read it in two days though it's a pretty fat book *whispering* 400 hundred pages ! << oouuuuch ! . It was classified into chapters two or three pages for each which made it really easy and comfortable for read .

I was a bit confused because it was my first read of the adventures of Alex , and it turned out that this book is somehow connected to someone before . Moreover , there were many places and cities mentioned in the story , almost a place in every chapter which made me mix up actually .. I didn't know where exactly each event took place ! Another thing .. I think ... that the end was kinda weak , I was like .. so that's it ? How did that happen ? when was that ?? blah blah .. I needed more explanation and more details .

All in all , a good read book . I enjoyed it so much .

Yummy

2010-04-28T08:39:00.000-07:00

OMG !!

Chocolate Donuts

I would pay everything I own to have these .. Now !!

'Quote'

2010-04-28T08:01:00.000-07:00

!!!

Failure should be our teacher , not our undertaker

Failure is delay not defeat

It's a temporary detour , not a dead end

Denis Waitley

Hello T.U.S

2010-04-28T06:23:00.000-07:00

Two days ago , Dr.Muhammad Mursi , my Teaching Aids proffessor , made a really precise 'funny' point about us " Taibah Uni students " by comparing us to Madrasat Almosha'3been's. << *nods* *nods* *nods*

He wanted to discuss the exam's date with us when the whole class shouted " NOOOOOOOOOOO" Dr. you said we wouldn't have it at bla bla ... we are not ready yet .. Dr. we have millions of exams bla bla bla ... He was so quiet and listening to their nonsenses ( so was I ) << What ????

you will have the exam at some point or the other for God's sake !!

He shifted to another subject " not really " but attempted to check out the homework that he asked us to do at the very very begining of the semester and to set a date for handing it and again .. all the kinds of No's and objections arose !!

While we were leaving , one of the girls who actually headed the numbers of protesters , said to a friend of her's in a real dreamy tone .. I really should go abroad and study Computer Science ! *staring*

My dear , I never say you can't dream and can't do .. but what I saw there wasn't a good sign for sure !!

Oh .. speaking about Madrasat Almosha'3been ..

Enjoy this

And this " I couldn't really quit laughing " ..

Can't Abide This Class .. Can't .. Can't

2010-04-23T15:55:00.000-07:00

Mental Health SUuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuCKS ..

Just felt like saying so ..

Years Have Passed !

2010-04-23T05:30:00.000-07:00

I'm 22

Français

2010-04-22T18:30:00.000-07:00

French is just an elegant language , but this little cute kid has made it unbelievablly adorable

!! pouvoir magique !!

so captivating ..

د.حيآة العمري

2010-04-22T06:20:00.000-07:00

~ ~

Writing?

2010-04-22T06:04:00.002-07:00

This was made by Mariah Irvin This girl is super awesome. You should not miss her blog . The clip is so funny and just in its place.

Having a Day off

2010-04-09T10:33:00.000-07:00

I've been tortured both physically and emotionally in my sucked university days << No surprise ! Well , I really.. really don't feel like talking about it .

Having a day off seems weird now as we are nearly at the mid of the term , doesn't it ?.. well one of my teachers has decided to cancel our wednesday meeting and to have us have a long meeting on Monday !! << Taibah University ! Anyways , I feel pretty fatigued for I've been taking alot of classes for so long . besides , not having a day off ... FOR EVER .

And this day off .. is like heaven for me , for I desperately need a break .

What I'm Reading

2010-04-02T05:12:00.000-07:00

Hey ,
As a sequel to my previous blog ,

These are some books I've planned to read for the month .

The House on Mango Street By Sandra Cisneros .

My Literature professor recommended this book for us . She has mentioned the name of it many times , so I thought I should get it and so began the journey . I really had a tough time getting this book because I couldn't find it in any of Jarir nor Al Obeikan branches in KSA . Therefore , I contacted my uncle who lives in Pennsylvania and eagerly asked him to send me a copy , and he did !

Burning Bright by Tracy Chevalier

I can't help feeling so excited when it comes to Chevalier . she is AWESOME . She writes historical fiction . she has a uniqe writing style ; simple language , true stories mingled with creative imagination . she is definitely one of a kind .

رأيت فيما يرى النآئم لنجيب محفوظ

I have never read for Najeeb Mahfoud , but again my teacher told us about him .

So these are my books , I really hope to pull off >> fingers cossed ^ ^

Oh .. P.S. I never stick to plans " especially my owns" ha ha .. << Don't kill me pleaaase !!

Later

Choosing Books Is No Longer A Dilemma

2010-04-02T03:00:00.000-07:00

Howdy ,

I'm actually of that kind of people that you always see around , the sort that goes very hesitant when it comes to chossing or buying new things . " oh what should I take the red shirt or the blue one and then I go and ask my mother and then she says you have to take the red one and then I grow more confused and then I come back after one or two hours with a different green one !! " << my mother always goes bananas for that . Whatever , the exact thing happens when I go to the bookstore . I always know nothing about what to choose .. I become really dull for seeing the huge amount of books , I spend alot of time picking up a book then when I go home I find it boring and then it ends up for it on the shelf for dust .

But now , and as my poor shelves have cried out of boredom , I have taken up some new techniques which I take into consideration before buying a book like :

If interested in a particular writer , try to go to his/her website and take a look at the books .
Some writers recommend great books .
Search for book reviews , for they will help a great deal .
If you are in a class , a meeting or something try to catch up and write down the names of the books you hear , for sure there will be some recommended books .

Now , I bet you will feel well organized and satisfied with the results ^_~

The Gossip Diet

2010-04-01T11:44:00.000-07:00

Could you go a week without gossiping?

See what happens when four girls agree to stop their chatter for seven days

Click here

Gossip Diet Was the title of one of the episodes of the well known Racheal Ray talk show . Four simple and nice girlfriends were trying to rid themselves from this habit for the sake of only changing a bad habit !

When I watched and listened to these girls , I felt that it was a very nice gesture of them to do it , they set rules and conditions for gossiping like to ask yourself four questions before talking about someone "Is it true, is it kind , is it timely and is it necessary ?

Also , I have to admit that I felt such a shame !!

Gossip as mentioned here takes the meaning of " backbiting " in its Islamic sense . Backbiting means to talk behind people back about what they hate to be seen or known by others by following their defects and weaknesses . For me , It's such an ugly digusting thing . I feel sick when I'm supposed to sit with or around a punch of gossipers in the class or in the cafeteria or any where . I always tell my group to Inform me as soon as they feel like gossiping so I take myself out of it or to just shut them up ( which I always do ) in a merry way so they do not hate me .

Just to remind my friends of the verse we all know ,

{ قال تعالى { وَلَا يَغْتَب بَّعْضُكُم بَعْضاً أَيُحِبُّ أَحَدُكُمْ أَن يَأْكُلَ لَحْمَ أَخِيهِ مَيْتاً فَكَرِهْتُمُوهُ وَاتَّقُوا اللَّهَ إِنَّ اللَّهَ تَوَّابٌ رَّحِيمٌ

[And do not spy or backbite each other. Would one of you like to eat the flesh of his brother when dead? You would detest it. And fear Allah ; indeed, Allah is Accepting of repentance and Merciful.](Quran, 49:13)

And to have us ask ourselves these questions :

Do we like other people to talk about our weaknesses ?

Have you ever seen yourself doing it ? if not , ask someone to film you!

And what else do the Gossip Diet girls have and we lack ?

Inspiring she is

2010-04-01T08:28:00.000-07:00

Dr.Hadeer Abo El Nagah is one of the most inspiring people I've ever met . She is an Egyptian Professor of English Literature . She spent the past few years teaching Literature and promoting Islam in North America and Canada before she landed here in Medinah . I,ve taken so many different classes with her Since she came in around a year and a half ago .Meanwhile , and unlike my other teachers , Dr.Hadeer has taught me lessons I never learnt in my whole life ( beyond the literature thing ) . She always made me feel that whatever I have accomplished is not enough . Through her I have fully realized how the objective person looks like , and that pleasing people all along is the biggest mistake a person can do . she used several direct and indirect methods , and sometimes she was too harsh teaching me . However , I highly regard her .

P.S.I never have thought of blogging till I fell in luv with her's ^_^

It's Beyond Me

2010-04-01T05:47:00.000-07:00

Hello Everybody ,

See , this is my first attempt of writing , and this whole blogging thing is very new for me . Writing or so called blogging is something I have not tried before , well , except for my dairies which I keep away from the hands and eyes of everybody and which I write in Arabic and Arabic in which I suck at !! SO I'll try to keep it English , for I'm in no need of sending people away . Anyways , I just want it to be a way of expressing myself and sharing ideas , feelings , and experiences rather than of a mere writing , and for sure , I'll have interesting stuff to come up with as the time passes .

So I really hope we both enjoy it .

Later